Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Suicide Poems, now available in eBook format

"Suicide Poems" is now available in eBook format through Smashwords and on Amazon here.

I'm also reworking the short story "Evangeline" and hope to have it published with new chapters by summer.

If you're a blog follower and would like a free copy of "Suicide Poems" send me an email and I will give you a coupon code.

Thanks for following.  Some of you have been a great inspiration to me over the years - either with your own poems, or words of encouragement.  I truly appreciate you.

I'll also be starting a Facebook page for "Suicide Poems", where poets can share their own work, if you're interested in participating.

All my best, W.M. Turner

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Small


We are small,
smaller than a grain of sand
in a wide universe of
light and dark
stretching out beyond
the limits of time
where time is not
more or less than
a single breath,
unending

We are small,
smaller than a passing thought
in the deep mind of
light and dark
stretching out beyond
the fabric of dreams
where life is not
more or less than
one heartbeat,
echoing

Monday, April 30, 2012

Water Falling


I dream of places
I've never been
places odd
yet familiar in some
deep part of me
resonating chords
to other times
other worlds
other Me s

water falls from
empty woods
in to a purple sea
while I spin in
the marble ballroom
a perfect waltz
silk, taffeta,
and gems
(floating)

I know this place
though I have only
danced
it in dreams
strange music
echoes in
vine covered
walls along memory's
passages
(fading)

far away notes
vanish
like smoke
curling silently
towards the dawn

Friday, January 20, 2012

The Grove

Ancient
kings
stand in
quiet
majesty
(listening)
sunlight
in golden
ladders
marks a
slanted
path
to heaven's
gate
The soft
ground below
a royal carpet
of ferns
and clover
and vines
In this kingdom
of old saints
there is
truth
if
you
listen

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

My Country

I saw America
on a postage stamp
she was young
promise-filled
naive and proud
before Korea
and Vietnam
and all the wars
before and after
she was a refuge
a champion
her eyes bright
with spirit and dreams
I saw America
on a postage stamp
she was faded
and worn
her glory, diminished
heart-broken
drowning in the shadows
of greed, apathy
and regret

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Day's End

the sun set quickly
in a rush
like a stolen kiss
it was there
then it was
just a glow
along the edge of the world.
her hair caught in the wind
danced and whipped 
about her golden face
like the forgotten flags
of a lost country.
she sighed
and her heart felt full
but also empty.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

World's End

will you hold my hand
when it all comes
crashing down
when the world ends
when the mind bends
will you fall with me
sink like a stone
tell me you love me
take me to the quiet
take me to the night
will I feel you there
when the world ends
will you look in my eyes
will you smile
will we cry
when the world ends
will you hold my hand
tell me you love me
tell me goodbye
then nothing else matters
just hold my hand
when the world ends

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Deep Space

grief
was a bitter
planet
a cold,
endless dark.
a sky
that rained
broken
glass.
a self-conducted
symphony of
misery
and
loathing.
grief 
was my 
exile
my punishment
my 
torture.
but that planet was
never my
home.
though in 
the still of 
night
in an empty
bed
i remember
the pull
of its
gravity.
long, long
before
love
sent
a rocket to 
rescue
me.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Bittersweet


far away
your voice
is 
far away
your lips
are
far away
your heart
beats

i miss you

yet i've done such an excellent job
of pretending i didn't

silly me,
i fooled myself
so thoroughly

then
it comes rushing
rushing,
the delicious wave
whenever i hear
you whisper
my name
all
the frozen wishes
m
e
l
t

and i drown, and drown

(again)

sweet misery, brutal ecstasy,
fire
bliss
tears
ice


(bitter, sweet)

Reincarnate

I walked across the ocean from Liberty’s island,
on top of the water.
The dolphins swam beside me, circling.
My head sleeping
while my body moved.

Sea foam tickled my bare feet.
Purple toenails like grapes, floating
above the deep blue.

I walked not knowing
only going, going.

Until I felt the pebbles of Ireland.
A fisherman dropped his catch, gasping.
He lifted his finger to point, mouth wide in wonder.
I had wings, wings of a gull.  It did not seem odd.
It was not strange to me.
It gave me courage
to 

ask him for food. 
His wife made a fine stew with fish and carrots and
buttered potatoes. Her weathered hands working
like a cello virtuoso.

I told them of the dolphins, and they drank plenty whisky,
singing songs that made my bones remember
centuries past,
a life long ago, whispered in lyrics.

In a cottage of stone we ate by a crackling fire and
I felt the dead kings. The dead kings listened.

I fell asleep on a tattered rug. My mind traveled 
high in the clouds over the ancient circles and ruins of
stone and green hills, sighing.

Time had no beginning and no end

I was not an angel on a tomb,
curly moss, covered.
I was molecules, 
flesh and bone,
alive and
home, a promise kept,
a dream,
living.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Truth

I wrote your name
a thousand times
next to mine like some
high school crush
until my pen ran
dry coloring the page
with the blood in my veins
Love, love is a winding road
bending around the
granite walls, curving
up and down the misty
valleys of the ragged soul
finding its way like the
icy water from a glacier
seeking the lake below
I dip my toe in, shivering
in the cynical rain, hopeful
diving headfirst
fear and breath
leave in a rush
I imagine you
swimming
I imagine you
mine

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Words

tormentor
torment me
i can never leave you
you are part of me 
flesh of my flesh
wound around my heart
relentless vine
i carry part of you
here you live
and breathe my 
thoughts expand
contract and fly
on wings
blue butterflies
take flight
i belong to a vision
walking through 
a dismal membrane
illuminated by 
the memory of your
mouth on mine
blur the lines of 
now with yesterday
and tomorrow
(immortal visions)
hold the cup i drink 
from gladly poison
me with more
i need the rush
of you my one
and only drug
give me the cup
and make my
suffering
sweet
and endless
fill me with the
agony of
all that longs
to be
true and real
(forever)
fill the hollow
spaces with words
the only rhyme
that can save me

Friday, October 29, 2010

Glow






skin
warm
silk
beckons
stirs
night
dream
quiet
rain
sighs
lips
seek
bliss
melt
soft
you
wine
me
love
us

Friday, October 15, 2010

Dream Walker

I do not scheme to walk in your dreams.
I fly to the edge of the universe. I run faraway.
I sink in the ocean.
But my eyes open and here I am, awake inside your sleeping mind.
You must have conjured me because I would never haunt you. I promised.
Inside your dreams, your heart betrays you while your ego rests,
secretly calling my spirit to come to you with its 
magic unharnessed, set free by mysterious truth.
Here, you kiss me long and deep like a man who has crawled across
the desert and finds cool water. You gulp me down with a feverish thirst,
(insatiable)
(reckless)
drinking me in haste, lest your sentinels discover and end the dream.
I feel the intensity of your sadness and desire to hold me here forever,
hiding from the intelligence that gives you so many reasons not to hold me.

Inside your sleeping mind, 
we are moonlit lovers.
(eternal)

Monday, September 27, 2010

Cat Nap

there you are
asleep in the afternoon sun
streaming through windows and
painting your skin in ribbons of light
and shadow stripes
deeply breathing
far away in a
lucid dream, your face shifting
from boy to man and back again
and i wish you would wake
so that i could kiss you
instead, I'll drink the wine
and watch you sleep and
miss you
but sleep too long and the wine will be gone
then you'll wake to find me
(sleeping)

Moondrops

i drove home in the night
that awful moon reflecting
drops on my cheeks
black rivers of truth
washing away my paper charade
a heart exposed, reborn, denied
still beating

(thump, thump, thump)

my bed welcomes me
"i knew you'd be back"
deep in blankets
deep in darkness
deep in silence
"come and hide"
i would die for you, i think
i would die
for
you
and yet i live, still
breathing on the same planet
we share, apart
we tear apart
we part
and
sleep comes softly
(sighs like the ocean against the shore)
your taste fades on my tongue
but my heart
is not free of your hands

(thump)

(thump)

(thump)

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Haunted

will you remember me in
the dark blanket of stars?
i cast my heart to the heavens
and whispered prayers
in a language i did not speak
but understood with
infinite measure
your ghost and my ghost
followed and led
leaving footprints in 
the soft earth like a child
running
from a devil in a
dream
will you remember me in
the quiet moments of the night?
when you wake to the 
pounding of your heart
 (that dream of black birds on grey sky)
the universe divides us
and the stars pour through your
fingers like sand
there is grief in the darkness
a sentence unfinished
untested
undone
my ghost stands in the
corner of your bedroom
sadly watching
still longing as
the new moon bathes you in
blue light and shadows


From my journal: December 2006

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Dark Road



I created this movie on my iMac using iMovie.  All images and video clips were purchased through iStock for noncommercial use.  Music purchased through iTunes.  Not for resale or profit.
I hope you enjoy.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Back to Life


Standing at the
bottom
of the steps
so wide,
feeling the wind
blow around me.
I can sense there's
something
moving quickly now
towards me-
towards the sky.
Take my hand
and please don't let
me go.
You're the only
one I truly know.
You're the reason
that I made
it here alive and
whole.
We've only got
so much time left
to go, so let's go
together.

Your love released me from the stone

It's a journey
we have longed to
make. 
We'll reach the summit
before the morning breaks.
Kiss me and tell
what I need to 
know.
My eyes will
answer all your 
questions
and fill
that hollow
in your soul.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Love Starved

Inside,
she was sinister
her heart a black stone
motivated by
greed and power and fame
but the magazines and
movie screens
hailed her beauty
and her visible bones
as perfection in female form.
Show us your ribs
and every link of your spine
then you'll be the woman
every man will desire
but until we see bones
you will grow older,
forgotten, alone.
No one cares about the
depth of your soul
(or your heart)
We truly do not care
if you're kind, honest, and smart.
You need to be young
and we need to see
bones.
So the little girls
run in the cold of night
starving for love
so often denied because
the message they hear
so loud and so clear:
We Measure Your Worth
By The Bones We See, Dear.
The skeleton girls on the
runway sigh,
once you hit 30 you
might as well die.
(Nothing can tempt me, not even mom's apple pie.)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Summer Rain

You pull me in to
your tender place,
shelter and warmth
(your heart is a blanket)
embracing me with
arms and words
that soothe my soul
my friend
my lover
my dreamer
my muse
soft in the light
you reveal me with
your truth
your hope
your trust
your grace
and selfless love.
Lost in the safety
of our bond,
passion fueled
you heal me
and I, you.
Like summer rain,
summer rain,
again.

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Fairytale


It is the luscious
smoke
of incense that seduces
then disappears in
curls and wisps
as I draw near,
lingering scent
of bitter herbs.

It is the perfect
fruit,
crisp and fragrant,
sweetness imagined
until the first taste
turns bitter,
ruined on my
tongue,
hunger denied.

It is the beckoning
wind
that fills the sails
with thrilling rush
then dies when
my fragile ship
rocks treacherously
far from shore,
unanchored.

It is a symphony of
music
drawing me closer
and deeper in to
a sanctuary of
hope, only to 
trap me in a
cold and 
empty lair,
alone.

The knights have all perished
but the dragons,
live.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

30,000 Feet



Patchwork fields
beneath feather clouds stretch
and fade to the edge of
the earth.

She sits beside me
and drinks too much
too fast and talks of
love and loss and
the pain of life.
Her eyes blind to beauty,
Life is Cruel
branded on her soul
she swallows hard and
fills the hole in her
heart with bitter
regret and vodka

I listen and nod and
think about the families
far below.

Hold on to your love.
Hold on to your love.

I look in her eyes
and wonder if she is a prophet
or a messenger
of truth and doom -
a lifetime of seeking but
never finding -
of giving, never to receive.

The horizon fades
in pink and blue ribbons
of light and the Cascades
appear through the
clouds in snow-covered
pyramids, glistening.

Hold on.

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Unmarked Trail

I sit beside you
on the stone,
feet hanging
off the edge
heart pounding
in my ears,
the forest behind in
stillness watching.
Mountains surround us
in lush, green, wetness.
The earth smells damp
and fresh and old.
Moss on the trees
and the rocks
in soft patchwork
tumble.
Far below the river
rushes like my heart
wanting to tell you
what I cannot say,
even in whisper.
You turn and smile
and I die a little.

so much beauty
so much pain

We watch the
eagle circle above,
writing a story
across the sky,
as it begins to rain
in the cave of my soul,
drenching the flames
of courage,
feeding the flames
of desire.

Are we lost?
I am.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

girl vs. God: Part Four

girl: There you are.
God: Here I am.
girl: I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been?
God: Right here.
girl: Sometimes it doesn't feel that way.
God: But that doesn't make it so.
girl: I have questions.
God: I'm not surprised.
girl: I'm confused.
God: I would be too.
girl: Can you help me?
God: Listen...
girl: yes?
God: Be still.
girl: "Be still and know that I am God?"
God: No, be still because you're fidgeting.
girl: Ah. Sorry.
God: You are getting stronger every day, you know.
girl: Yes.
God: Are you ready for what is next?
girl: I am.
God: Yes, you are.  Listen and you will hear the answers you seek.
girl: Ok but while you're here, I do have one question....
God: No. I will not give you the winning lottery numbers.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The River Child


I swam in your river,
inhaled your waters,
followed your currents.
ebb and flow
flow and ebb
I dreamed of a day when
our rivers would
meet in a great rush of
rapture,
divine torrents,
belated
ecstasy.
warm and cold
cold and warm
Then, the snow 
melted and I was caught
in a deluge of illusion
by your confusion,
drowning in a tide
of rejection,
gasping,
clinging,
until finally,
acceptance.
Floating,
free
I saw the shore,
then my feet
touched the sand.
dripping
dripping
dripping
joy and sorrow
sorrow
and
joy
and
joy
and
joy.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

A Riot in the Heart

"I will have poetry in my life.
And adventure.
And love.
Love above all.
Not the artful postures of love,
not playful games of love
for the amusement of an evening,
but love that over-throws life.
Unbiddable, ungovernable - like a riot in the heart."
-From the movie "Shakespeare in Love." 
TO SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS IS A CRIME AGAINST YOUR OWN HEART.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Splinter in the Sand

I left it on the beach
the tormented sorrow in
shadows hiding
a splinter buried deep
with toxins seeping.
I left it on the beach
the sea to take and
bleach with time its
cruel skeleton a
dead weapon of
intravenous grief.
I left it on the beach
and filled the hole
it left behind with
laughter and tears
and honest reckoning
with the hopeful innocence
of a brand new day.

I left it on the beach
and found myself, again.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

The Dream

You dance in the meadow
of my heart
where the Aspens shimmer in
a perfect breeze and
the mountains wake from
their long winter sleep
whispering
in the silence of
my deepest, secret dreams.

I meet you there
underneath the alpine sky
fingers like jasmine, intertwine
we dance together
lost in perfection
while the summer lightening
illuminates
truth and music
in the echo of
stillness that is
infinite as the universe.

Here, time finds no reason to
divide us
where the Columbine grows
in purple ribbons along
the folds of rock
immortal
and the wind carries
a melody only we can hear.

No longer lost
here, I am home.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Heart Song

i wrote a song for you
(i wrote a song)
that only my heart
can sing
in secret lyrics
soft and low
in the quiet
of night
a lucid
dreaming
love melody
wrapped in silent
echoes of
whispers
in gentle moments
when you slept
next to me
an angel breathing
i watched you sleep
(i watched you)
and my heart
wrote a song
(for you).

Monday, May 17, 2010

I Ran

I ran
in the dark rain
and cried
your love
a living thing
wrapped around my
heart breathing
tentacles buried
deep
give me
life with elixir
sweet and pain
with thorns of
fear
if this blessed
parasite should
ever die
I ran
in the dark rain
and cried

Monday, May 10, 2010

A Song for You



I need to go away for a while.  I'll be back, but until then, be happy.

Last Day on Earth Lyrics - GreenDay

I text a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you

With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I'm sending all my love to you
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assure
That all my love's for you

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you

My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you

Friday, April 30, 2010

Unanswered

The granite inquisition
hangs
like a mammoth stalactite
over my head
dripping
cruel reminiscence and
complicity
in to the wounds
freshly spawned by my own
guilty dagger.
Dark interrogations reveal
an infinite chasm
breeding
subterranean limbs that reach
to drag me
in to the abyss
Fresh earth swallows
with unanswered malice
my own heart
ravaged by mystery's
toxic blade.

Listen. Listen.
Nothing but the wind.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life on Earth

sometimes
the world is maniacal
out of control 
labyrinthine
on a wheel
off the tracks
divergent

(eruptions spew obstructions) 

life's gray slime
settles
in your throat
turns to stone
stuffs your heart
black pitch drowning
sometimes
(it is beautiful)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Essentials

Laconic fire
conciliate my soul
a charming dance
through amber glows
hypnotic
Cardinal brew
emancipate the high
a restless thirst
through crystal flows
exotic
Mystical note
exhilarate the core
a sanguine tune
through silence grows
chaotic

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

La Corporate Couture

Monday's mask
stifles
with synthetic greetings
woven of wistful thoughts
like cocktail pajamas
and new book smell.
Tuesday's mask
blinds
with revelations of prison
stacked to the ceiling
like infinite pillars
dead trees coerce me.
Wednesday's mask
taunts
with half way illusions
murdered by deadlines
like ruthless villains
of the theater absurd.
Thursday's mask
maddens
with swarms of mosquitoes
draining the universe
like hungry dumpsters
caught in a brainstorm.
Friday's mask
frightens
with casual confusion
stalling the clock
like snails in the winter
crawl in tapioca.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

The Gift

You're the right to my wrong,
the resurrection of bliss
in my sometimes dark and
twisted reason.
I burn not a candle but a torch
illuminating the corners
and opening the chambers
of a once-dead hope.
I offer my dreams with
addictive rush,
the gift to the giver.
Tie me to you in love knots,
I want to drown in your ocean.
You've branded my soul
with your drug and I am
hallucinating heaven.